Recovering

Over the past 7 days, I have stuffed an unimaginable number of delicious foodstuffs into my mouth. We went out to eat for at least one meal a day and I probably ate the number of calories I eat per day PER MEAL whilst on vaca. Yikes. We ate so much that my boyfriend gained 8 pounds. Lucky for me, I gained not a one. Still not sure how that's possible, but I'll take it!

Here is what our daily routine looked like:

8 am: wake up

9 am: go out for breakfast/make breakfast

10:30 am: bike to the beach

12: swim

1:30 : bike home from the beach

2: make lunch

3: read on the back porch or walk into town

7: eat dinner / go out for dinner

9: drink / play games / eat backdoor donuts

It was glorious.

And now it's over and it's time for me to put the backdoor donuts out of sight and out of mind. Let me just tell you: I have never ever had a more delicious pastry in my life. Martha's Vineyard Bakery, located in Oaks Bluff, operates out the "back door" from 7:30 to 12:30 serving piping hot fresh-from-the oven delicious baked goods. I tried the infamous apple fritter (my personal favorite - often resulting in mouthgasm), the butternut donut (so hot it fell apart in my hand!), the honey glazed donut, the cinnamon roll....need I say more? We seriously went there almost every night. It was decadent and amazing and my mouth is watering just thinking about it...

Unfortunately, my vacation from both diet and the Vineyard are over.

Yesterday, I started anew with oatmeal and cranberries for breakfast, almonds for a snack, and pasta with black beans + spinach + feta cheese for dinner. I also did a 14 mile bike ride at the Cape Cod canal.

Today, I anticipate much of the same. I think it will be fairly easy to fall back into the nice routine I'd developed before I headed off-shore. Cliff bar for breakfast, something light for lunch, gym after work, a healthy dinner and perhaps a walk or bike ride in the evening.

Back to the grind I go!

Just keep biking

So I am officially on Martha's Vineyard and on vacation. With the most athletic family in the world. This makes me feel horrible about myself. I have biked over 350 miles this summer, probably more than all of them combined, and I still can't keep up! They go about 15-16 mph while my normal pace is 13 mph. It's not even that my legs get tired or anything, I just can't sustain the pace. Who knows why.

But anyway, so we docked around 11 and walked to town to grab lunch, then biked into a different town and biked around and watched a shark being gutted and biked some more and then had a cook out and drank. A lot. I'm sure the alcohol alone would have pushed me over my calorie limit for the day.

After we were sufficiently sloshed we decided to walk into town to see the lighthouse. But it apparently wasn't turned on or something so we chilled in the grass for a while and then walked back.

All in all it was a satisfying day, minus my lack of athletic ability. It is so frustrating. Oh well, I'll just keep doing the best I can and try not to hate myself for things I have no control over.

Holy sodium, Batman!

Alright, so I'll start off by saying that I feel pretty guilty. I'll give you one guess as to why I feel guilty. I'm sure, given my rocky past of exercise and wagon-falling that you've guessed correctly: I've been bad.

Yesterday, I walked around the Emerald Square mall with Kate for an hour or so and then went to Panera and had a salad and soup and bread and had a free dessert reward on my Panera card, which I obvs had to use. I was planning on going on a bike ride when I got home, but that didn't happen. Laziness did.

Today, I thought I was going to bike the cape cod canal after work. Obviously it was way too hot to do such things, lest I die from heat stroke. Then I decided I would go to the gym instead. Until the university got the word that the air conditioning across campus must be turned off, due to immense power usage. And I remembered that the gym closes early on Friday. By the time I dragged myself home, it was already 4:30 and the gym closes at 5 on Fri anyway. That + the fact that it was eight million degrees and I had a headache prevented me from hitting it up.

So then I went to Target and got a large mocha coconut frappuccino, which I devoured like it was my last meal. Now I'm at Art's making kielbasa, black beans and rice, and brussel sprouts for dinner. It doesn't sound too terrible until I read the Zatarain's nutrition facts on the side (I wanted to get Lipton bb+r but Target didn't carry it :( ). The sodium in one cup of the concoction is worth 49% of your daily sodium intake. It is so salty it even SMELLS salty. Kielbasa also happens to be pretty salty. Yikes.

Today has been so full of fail. I had a fiber bar for breakfast, yogurt with fruit & nuts and greenbeans with cheese for lunch, and now this. Definitely over my calorie, sugar, and sodium intake for today. Ugh.

And now I'm off to Martha's Vineyard for vacation. Luckily, my bike is coming with me. She and I have a lot of work to do. Keep your fingers crossed for me that I won't undo all of the hard work I've put in so far while I'm away!

Weight-ing

I didn't let my [rather disappointing] weigh-in get to me yesterday. I continued about my day as usual, spending minutes upon minutes viewing photos in the MFP "success stories" and the reddit r/loseit section. I'm not sure why I'm so obsessed with viewing before and after pics of people who've lost a lot of weight. It certainly IS inspiring. Perhaps I'm hoping to have my own inspiring before and afters some day.

Anyway, during my forum scouring, I happened across a post that someone had made who instructed women not to trust the scale. There were a ton of people who had done the P90X challenge and the 30 day shred who came out looking AMAZING and totally transformed, but who had only lost 1 to 10 pounds. Weight isn't everything. There is certainly something to be said for fitness and feelings and measurements.

After I got out of work, I had my lovely roommate measure me. The first time she measured me was on June 27, so it's been nearly a month.

Here were the [rather pleasing] results!

June 27

38" - bust
32" - waist
36" - abdomen (navel)
45" - hips

July 20

37.5" - bust
31" - waist
34.5" - abdomen (navel)
44" - hips

Not bad, right?

After that, I headed to the gym and did 30 minutes on the bike and 30 minutes on the elliptical and then went for a 2 mile walk around Ring Road. While at the gym, I read a captioned episode of Oprah to keep my eyes off the clock. Ironically enough, the episode was about weight loss and looking 20 years younger. She, also, informed me that the scale is not to be trusted. There are so many variables with weight and we shouldn't let ourselves get down when we don't see the numbers change. The non-scale victories are just as -if not more- important. And if Oprah says it, it has to be true, obvs.

Later, I got a call from the bike shop and they said my bike was ready to pick up! I had dropped it off last Thursday, so it was a happy reunion after having gone so many days without it!

While there, I found a great tread and the guy said he could install them on my bike for $12 each. Now, my bike is supposedly a hybrid, but the tread is thick and chunky and closely resembles that on a mountain bike. I'd heard from several bike enthusiasts that changing the tire would give me a smoother, easier ride because there would be less resistance against the pavement if I had less knobby tires. I expected that it would cost about $60-$100 to get new tires, so I've been putting it off, but knowing that I can get them for $24 makes it absolutely worth it. Now I just have to wait for them to get the tires in!

After struggling yet again to stuff my bike into the car, I realized that it's definitely about time I got my hands on a bike rack, as well. It's just not worth the frustration. Time to do some research!

To celebrate a successful day, I obviously had to stuff my face with Coldstone Creamery's "Cheesecake fantasy"(cheesecake ice cream, graham crackers, strawberries, blueberries). Just our luck, it was free waffle cone day! Suffice it to say, today was the first day in nearly a month that I've gone over my calorie allotment. :/ Oh well, tomorrow is a new day.

PS: Has anyone tried Jillian's "30 Day Shred"? I am seriously considering ordering it. It's only $7 and all of the before and after pics I've seen of people who did it looked fantastic!

Gravity

must be playing a joke on me. And a mean one, at that.

This morning, I stepped onto the scale for my third weigh-in since I've started using my fitness pal, eagerly anticipating some encouraging results.

In the three weeks I've been counting calories and exercising diligently, my non-scale victories include:

a) all of my clothes fit (and look) better - and the shorts that i bought at the beginning of the summer that were a little snug are now on the verge of being too big

b) i have more energy

c) i've been taking photos of myself in a bra and gym shorts once a week and you can clearly see my progress in these photos

d) i've been under my calorie max and over my exercise min every single day

e) i've been doing a really good job, dammit!

So this is why I was shocked / horrified / sickened / pissed that the scale informed me Not only have you NOT lost any weight, you have, in fact, gained 1 pound.

Ok, seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!

I know there are so many factors: water retention, muscle weighing more than fat, yadda yadda yadda yadda. But I don't want factors to justify gain. I want loss to justify the three weeks that I have been attempting to make myself better.

I'm not sure whether this is more motivating or less motivating. Part of me feels disheartened. I mean, I could've been stuffing my face and sitting around on the couch for the last three weeks feeling horrible about myself if I wanted to gain weight. But I haven't been doing such things. I've been doing everything right. So why oh why must you do me wrong, body?

I'm just gonna blame gravity. And weigh in again on Friday, to [hopefully] more pleasant results.

Of fat and food

I'm totally pumped for my third weigh-in tomorrow morning. I've been good, oh so good, with my exercise and diet since I weighed in last Tuesday. I worked out 6/7 days that have passed and I am quite pleased with myself. I have totally cut out late night snacking. I have more portion control. I've been under my calorie intake max every single day. I've done more than my goal 30 mins a day of exercise every single day that I've exercised.

In my estimation, the pounds should be falling off. Just running away screaming. To go from 0 to 60 in the way that I did, you would think there would be more drastic results. As my mom questioned "How can you not have really lost any weight when you're working out so hard and eating so few calories?" Good question, mom. I wonder the same thing...

But we all know that slow and steady wins the race. So despite the fact that I haven't seen any major changes in myself, I think that the way I feel (damn good!) is enough for me to not ever consider giving up.

Stuff that Sucks

- My knees.

I hate them. Now when I work out, I tend to do pretty leg-heavy workouts. Bike riding, elliptical, walking, treadmill. I would expect that a) my legs would become pretty darn muscular b) they would lose their jiggle. But no. My knees have little pockets of flesh above and around them just waiting to quiver upon the slightest step. And it drives. me. crazy. What do I have to do to get rid of you???

- Back fat.

Ugh. I'm sure I don't need to elaborate here on the unsightliness of back fat. I'm ashamed to admit that I have two (small but noticeable) rolls right below my bra straps. Perhaps "roll" isn't the right word for it. Indentations, shall we say. I have a mirror set up in my bathroom that allows me to see my back, and when I stand up straight, poof! There they are. And I want them gone!

And on a more positive note,

My Super Foods

- Brussel sprouts.

Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine how much I could like brussel sprouts. I tried them with hesitation a few months ago, and since then I have pretty much fallen in love. I eat them as a side with almost every meal I make. They are easy (heat in the microwave with a bit of water), they taste fresh but come frozen, and they assume the flavor of anything you pair them with.

- Kellogg's Fiber Plus (chocolate chip) bar.

Oh. em. gee. This is seriously the most delicious breakfast bar I have ever stumbled across. I legit look forward to eating one for breakfast every morning. It kind of tastes like a Twix bar because it is caramelly and chocolately and decadent. And it's only 120 calories, 4g of fat, 55mg of sodium, and 7g of sugar. It also contains 35% of my daily fiber. Trust me when I say it's a great way to start the day!

- Great Value brand Health Nut Mix (sunflower seeds, soy nuts, dried cranberries, almonds)

I love this stuff. I mix it into vanilla yogurt with assorted fresh fruit almost every day for lunch and it is so delish. I am particularly fond of the soy nuts, which I'd never really eaten before. They are satisfyingly crunchy and really complement the sweetness of the fruit and yogurt. Yum.

- Lean pocket pretzel bread grilled chicken jalapeno cheddar

It tastes as good as it sounds. And tastes even better paired with brussel sprouts.

NSV for me!

I've been using MFP for a solid week now and I'm still going strong. I'm [pleasantly] surprised that I've kept up with it, because based on my track record with exercising/dieting/ and even blogging, I have the tendency to pick things up, become obsessed with them, and drop them like old news after a short period of time.

This time, I'm determined that things should be a little different. I want to maintain this. No more binge dieting and exercising over the summer and then slacking in the winter. Now that I'm graduated, I have no excuse. I don't have Res to blame, I don't have my crazy hours, and frankly, I don't really have that much to do!

In the past few weeks, my routine has become:

8 to 12: work
12 to 1: lunch @ my apartment
1 to 4: work
4 to 6: go to the gym / go for a walk
6 to 9: eat dinner / watch a tv show
9 to 10: go for a 10 mile bike ride

I really really like this schedule. It works for me. I wish it didn't have to change, but summer is coming to a close and I will be kicked out of my sweet apartment / sweet life in a matter of weeks. This time, though, I must find a new sweet apartment, sweet life, and sweet routine to settle into, rather than let a hectic and highly caloric life take over!

--

I've been reading a lot of fitness blogs / sites - mostly for the purpose of viewing before and after weight loss pictures (a highly addicting guilty pleasure!) and kept seeing the initials "NSV". I assumed the V stood for victory, and it maybe meant "no small victory" or "nothing short of a victory" but never gave it too much thought.

Today I saw another post with NSV in the title and decided to figure out what it was. NSV apparently stands for "non-scale victory." Ironically enough, I had my own first NSV today. Tomorrow is going to be my second weigh-in since I weighed in last Wednesday at 158, so hopefully there WILL be a scale victory in there somewhere, too...but because I haven't stepped on the scale in almost a week, I have no way to measure my progress other than how I feel. And my NSV for the day is that I feel pretty damn good right now. Svelte, even. And most certainly tan (with an undertone of sunburn). The last three days spent working out over 90 minutes a day and eating (mostly) healthy foods coupled with a little R&R by the pool has really left me feeling enthusiastic about myself and my progress and my commitment to my fitness pal.

Scale, I hope you're listening, because I could use some reinforcement! :)

Calculations

So today was another successful gym today. In fact, I'd say today was more successful than yesterday!

Although the day started with frosted flakes+ skim milk, bacon, apple juice, and coffee - I was determined not to let the unhealthiness of the morning get the best of me!

This afternoon I did 40 mins on the elliptical (10 more mins than I did yesterday), 15 minutes on the bike (3 minutes and 1 mile more than I did yesterday), 15 minutes of weights, and 20 minutes of swimming.

I feel good. Pretty pretty pretty good, in the words of Larry David. Now if only my body could start to LOOK as good as it FEELS.

---

I've been using MFP to track my fitness things and noticed that sex isn't on there. One of my friends posted "ya know" as the name for the activity, and I couldn't find that in the database either. So I decided to google how many calories one actually burns during it. My search led me to a pretty awesome calorie calculator! It has a lot of other things on there aside from sex, obviously (though foreplay's in there, too!), but it calculates calories based on your weight - something that MFP doesn't take into account.

I promptly bookmarked the page and will certainly be referring to it in the future. It makes me wonder if the exercises I do are actually worth more or less calories than what MFP gives me credit for?

*checks it out*

OKAY people, for 40 minutes of elliptical:

- Calorie calculator says 540

- MFP says 430

Looks like I'll be doing some more referencing from now!

Speaking of ellipticals, does anyone else have the problem of your feet - not falling asleep - but becoming numb or at least uncomfortable whilst on the elliptical for certain periods of time? It happens to me quite frequently, regardless of what shoes I'm wearing and I find it to be quite irritating.

Mini vacation - but not from the gym!

So my mom and I are in Bethlehem Pennsylvania for a working-vacation this weekend. Yesterday was the first day in a while that I didn't do anything active (after I got out of work, I had a six hour drive ahead of me!) and we had Chinese food for dinner, so I definitely wasn't feeling too happy with that. However, I DID outline two cheat days for myself - days that go over the amount of calories MFP has determined I should consume (1200 p/d), so I suppose it's not too horrible.

Today has been a pretty good day in terms of activity and it's not even half over yet! We started our tour-de-casinos after a light breakfast (a banana and a fiber bar and a cup of coffee) and then came back to the hotel and went to the gym for a while. I did weights for 15 minutes, elliptical for 30 minutes, and two miles on the bike in 12 minutes.

After the gym we went out to lounge by the pool. My biking has left with me an unsavory shorts-tan on my thighs, so I'm hoping that exposing my upper thighs whilst wearing a bathing suit will help even things out. I read my Kindle for a while and then went into the pool and did ten laps and lazed around for a while.

We're about to head out for our next round of casinos, then do some shopping, then some Linner (lunch+dinner), then another round and probably back to the hotel for some R+R before our final round (at midnight. Ew).

I am SO happy that I made sure to get a hotel with a free breakfast, a gym, and a pool. This is turning out to be a pretty fun pre-Vineyard vacation. And a not altogether unhealthy one either!

Minutes not miles

So I've been [obsessively] using My Fitness Pal to track what I eat and when I exercise. It is SO wonderful. Every day when I click the "update entry" button, it tells me "If every day was like today, you would lose X in 5 weeks." Most of the time, it teeters around 15 pounds...which is pretty damn encouraging. Meaning that if every day was like today, I would lose the thirty pounds I want to lose in 10 weeks. Though that doesn't seem realistic.

However, I HAVE made drastic changes in my diet and exercise.

Although I started working out again as soon as I was able to walk and didn't keep track of anything, I find that keeping track really helps me make more conscious decisions about what I eat. Earlier this summer, I felt like nothing made me full. I was always having cravings and always snacking. I felt horrible about myself.

Now I find that even though I'm consuming less than 1200 calories a day and burning more than half of that a day in exercise alone, I never feel hungry.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that my days are fuller and I am spending less time in my apartment. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I always want to have "calories remaining" at the end of the day. Whatever it has to do with, I like it.

I've already lost 2 pounds in the last week, breaking the 160 barrier and hopping down to 158. Not that that is acceptable in any way. It is still disgusting. But it is also encouraging.

One thing that MFP has opened my eyes to is the fact that in their book, minutes take precedence over miles. When I work out, I tend to measure my work out by the distance I go. I would do the elliptical for 2 miles and then be done. I would ride my bike for 10 miles and then be done. But MFP doesn't want to know how many miles I did. They just want to know how long I did it for.

I suppose it has to do with heart rate and yadda yadda, but it's pretty interesting to me. I think there should be some hybrid of the two to more accurately measure my work out. After all, I could walk 1 mile in an hour or 5 miles in an hour..it depends on my speed. Of course, there are some brackets in MFP that allow you to rate your activity as light, moderate etc. Sometimes I'm just not convinced they do my sweaty routines justice.

In any event, I'm feeling good (and wet - a thunderstorm interrupted my post work-out walk around Ring Road!)

Work-out Recap

So, I've mapped out my plan in the last entry. Today was my first day actually counting calories with My Fitness Plan and so far, so good.

I wasn't REALLY monitoring my food intake prior to this, though I have been eating a LOT healthier since school let out. For the last few weeks, here is my typical diet:

Breakfast: Fiber bar

Lunch: yogurt with nectarine, raspberries, strawberries, health nut mix

Snack: iced tea, chips and salsa

Dinner: something like pizza or pasta or a Lean Pocket or a sandwich etc

Also for the last few weeks, I have been maintaining my 10 miles a day / 5 days a week goal. Three weeks ago I biked 50 miles, two weeks ago I biked 50 miles and went to the gym three days that week, and this past week I biked 60 miles and went to the gym twice.

I've been biking a lot of beautiful trails and tomorrow will return to the Cape Cod Canal trail for an absolutely stunning 14 mile ride up and down the canal. I will make sure to post pictures :)

Originally, I was hoping to lose 10 pounds by the time I left for Martha's Vineyard. I expected my sudden change from inactivity to super exercising to have a much more drastic affect and the pounds to plunge to death, but no go on that one. I have been consistently working out and taking better care of my self for three weeks, and while I certainly feel a lot better and look a lot tanner, the scale is one rotten little nay-sayer keeping my spirits down.

I keep looking at success pictures on the r/loseit site and feeling desperate for my own success pictures, yet fear I will never have any exciting enough to post. I'm not obese and the most I could ever lose is probably 40 pounds. These people are losing 70+ pounds, so their pictures are extreme and extremely awesome. I'm happy that I never let myself go enough that I would need to lose 70 pounds, but I want my own success pics, too, gosh darnit! Some day.

So now my new goal is to lose 10 lb by September 1. Sounds reasonable, right? And with MFP by my side (and on my phone) it looks like I will definitely be able to meet that goal, as long as I don't sprain another ankle!

This shit is legit: Starting Over [for realz]

Yesterday was the first full day I was able to go about my life without crutches, an air cast, or a brace since my sprain. It took far too long for that little bugger to heal, but I didn't let it me slow me down [that much]. For two weeks, I hopped around on my left foot like a moron and by the third week I was able to hobble which turned into a limp which gradually turned into a fairly steady gait. I was also able to get back on my bike during week 3, which was a welcome activity compared to the sedentary weeks before it.

I am happy to report that I have been in full swing since regaining my ability to walk.

I am determined to lose at least 10 pounds before September 1 and have re-signed up for myfitnesspal.com -- I am watching my food consumption and exercising.

MY PLAN OF ATTACK

a) 10 miles a day / 5 days a week. This 10 miles can be walking, biking, elliptical or a combination of the three. I am just trying to get to 50 miles a week with exercise.

b) 1200 calories a day / 5 days a week. I enter my food into mytfitnesspal and it tells me how many calories I have consumed as well as how many I can consume for the rest of the day. The number increases depending on how much exercise I get. I am also giving myself 2 cheat days a week. Not so that I can "go crazy" and eat whatever I want, but two days where I'm not counting calories and obsessing over my consumption.

For instance, here is my "Diary" from today.

As you can see, I did a ton of cardio, which allowed me an 628 calories for the day. However, I haven't eaten anything else and am still 670 calories under my maximum for the day. Cheers to that!

According to the website, if I had a day like today every day, I would weigh 145 in 5 weeks. That would be a total loss of 15 pounds in a little over a month, which is crazy awesome. Not that I have the leisure to have a day like today every day. And hopefully I will have a lot LESS leisure because someone will hire me for a full time job in the near future! But still, seeing that data is both interesting and motivating!

c) weekly weigh-ins to keep me on track. I will do my first weigh-in on Wednesday morning.

d) weekly progress pictures. I will take pictures from the front, side and back. If looking my flab in the eye isn't motivation enough, I don't know what is!

e) keeping up with this damn blog again!

What are my motivators?

I started re-reading old blog posts from when I was doing the no-carb diet. While that was obviously unreasonable and didn't work out, I realized that I was 152 pounds in those entries and trying to lose weight. Now I have broken 160 and wobble between 159 and 162 on a daily basis. The thought disgusts me.

I've also started following this site - a sub-reddit dedicated to weight loss. The before and after pictures are SO incredible and inspiring.

Just in general, I have felt uncomfortable in my body since last September when I moved back on campus and began the steady scale climb.

Alright, time to bare it all. Here's the skinny:

Weight: 160ish (haven't weighed myself in over a week)

Bust: 38"

Waist: 32"

Navel-area: 36"

Hips: 45"

I will post pictures soon. Stay tuned!

Summer Goals

Every summer, I write a list of goals for myself. In fact, this is something I do about once a season. Most of the time, the lists include "Stop spending so much money!" "Read more!" and "Exercise more!"

My list this summer is more specific. Here are my summer fitness goals:

1) Do something active for at least 30 minutes a day

2) Be able to bike 50 miles by the end of the summer

3) Be able to run around Ring Road without stopping (2 miles)

4) Lose 10 pounds

I think those are certainly all attainable goals. Though I have always sucked at running and I'm a bit concerned that this ankle business may take its toll on that goal, but it doesn't hurt to try!

Now I just have to get on the mend so I can make sure the other goals can all be checked off on the list :)

Summer lovin: Week 1

...had me a blast. Emphasis on the past tense.

Last week I started up with my biking again and was really getting into the swing of the things.

Sunday - 8 mile bike ride at the Res with my dad

Monday - 25 mile bike ride at the Nashua trail with Kate & Steve

Tuesday - 15 miles around campus

Wednesday - 4 miles around campus

Thursday - 15 miles around campus

Friday - 3 miles around campus

Saturday - severely sprain my ankle

Yup. And now I can barely get around on crutches (I suck at them, btw), never mind walk and never mind bike :( As soon as I stepped off the curb and injured myself, the first thing I said was "How am I going to bike???"

I was then piggybacked / wheelchaired into the hospital, had xrays and received an air cast and crutches. And now I'm stretched out on the couch with my foot propped up against a bag of frozen peas and a delicious pizza being served to me by my maid, Arthur :)

Getting around with only one limb is annoying and surprisingly exhausting. I have to keep finding creative ways to maneuver myself around. Taking a shower was quite a challenge. I had to sit on the edge of the tub and swing myself in and then brace myself against the tub and prop my knee up on the shelf to keep the pressure off my ankle. And let's not even talk about how ridiculous it was for me to try to get dressed. Geez. Definitely makes me appreciate my ankle so much more now that I can't use it!

So here I am and here I'll be for a while. I'm hoping to start walking a little bit by tomorrow. My ankle originally swelled up to like a baseball and now the swelling has subsided a bit, though it's still all bruised and puffy.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to learn to drive with my left foot so I can head back to campus. This is my life.

Day 12:

So this weekend that did not happen was definitely not full of burgers and french fries and cake. Though I must say that my mom made a concerted effort to not have carbs in the house.

But now that it's over, I'm happily jumping back onto the no carb wagon.

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 calorie yogurt

Snack: petite carrots; bottle of water

Lunch:

Dinner: will be trying out a Pepper-jack grilled chicken with succotash recipe from food network. I'm pretty pumped that grilling season is upon us! Gives me a lot more options for meat & veggies :)

I am going to have my third weigh-in tomorrow, and I must say that I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm having a fat day today and just don't feel good about my body. I know that I absolutely need to start complimenting my diet with exercise, but I just don't have time, dammit!

Next up: going for my first bike ride of the season! It will be magical!

Day 11: eff the wagon

So my Thursday shaped up pretty well, diet-wise.

This weekend, on the other hand, is going to be a hot mess. I'm going to just pretend it never happened. Thus I say: F*** THE WAGON! Imma eat flan.

Food for thought

Breakfast: yogurt

Lunch: low fat ham, string cheese, carrots

Snack: handful of almonds

Dinner: I made this Spicy Cashew, Celery & Shrimp stirfry and it was OMG good. Seriously. We ate all of it. Seltzer; 1/3 of a Hershey's bar; one white Russian.

I also forgot to weigh-in this morning...whoops. However, I must report that my jeans are feeling a bit more comfortable than they were when I first started this thing. Of course, that comfort will soon end with Easter weekend on the horizon. I will do another weigh-in on Monday morning. Or Tuesday morning. We'll see.

One of my coworkers is starting The 17 Day Diet, and I must say I'm a little skeptical. Though she claims that she will lose up to 10 pounds in 2 weeks. (Is that even healthy?). The diet seems VERY limiting. It pretty much lays out your daily menu. Not for me.

I tried to look up "no-carb" recipes with no luck. Instead, I started researching low carb recipes on foodnetwork.com (my heart's home!) and have found quite a few that are actually no carb (like the one we had last night). I'll keep posting them as we try them!

Day 10: annnd off the wagon

No, this is not a seesaw. This is my life. Up and down with this diet like there is no tomorrow. And I'm not proud of it.

One thing I've definitely noticed is that my sugar crazings have skyrocketed. I've never had much of a sweet tooth, but since I've been (trying) to cut carbs, I just feel like I need a sugar cap at the end of every meal. I've been having super cravings for chocolate and ice cream and other such goodies. I'm going to guess that it's because carbs traditionally have a bit of sugar in them, so cutting that out of my diet also cuts a significant portion of sugar from my diet. Makes sense, no?

I took both of my weekly cheats today. Too bad. I was doing so well yesterday and up until 6 p.m. today...

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 calorie yogurt; 1 cup of almonds

Lunch: seltzer; one cup of black quinoa with peppers and onions in a citrus zest; one cup of kale soup

Dinner: feta, spinach & black bean quesadilla; chips & guacamole

After dinner: one sugar cookie; one chocolate chip cookie; one bottle of low calorie Gatorade

So I was doing pretty well until the evening time. Being around people who aren't on the diet is bad for my diet. I'm pretty good when I'm by myself regulating my own meals or with someone who keeps me in check. But it's really hard to resist when someone tempts me with a trip to a restaurant...because we all know that I'm a social being straight to the core. And let's just be honest: I. love. food. Which is why this is hard.

Which is why I have to try harder.

Tomorrow is a new day...

Day 9: back on the wagon

If I were on the Oregon Trail and had been kicked off for overindulgence of rations, here is the day where I run after the wagon, catch up, and jump back on.

Food for thought/p>

Breakfast: green tea; light red velvet cake yogurt

Lunch: spinach salad with tomato, mozzarella, grilled zucchini, carrots, bacon bits; water bottle

Dinner: deli turkey; carrots; seltzer

And, in the spirit of Medieval Sims (which I will be obsessively playing whilst on duty tonight): HUZZAH!

Days 7&8: Off the wagon

If I were on the Oregon Trail, I would have been left behind at a trading post for having eaten more than my fair share of rations.

Luckily, I am not on the Oregon Trail and the only person I have to answer to is myself. And myself loves chocolate. And carbs. Womp womp.

Anyway, I took my cheat day on Sunday and cheat I did! Here's the delicious breakdown: Breakfast: chocolate pudding; seltzer

Dinner: wild mushroom burger; french fries; two pieces of bread; red velvet cream cheese cheesecake (all eaten at the Cheesecake Factory...YUM!)

After all of that gorging, I wasn't surprised (though still horrified) when I stepped on a scale the next morning and it read 159...meaning that I've actually gained weight since I started this whole thing. Lamesauce.

Anyway, I'd like to believe that I somewhat redeemed myself yesterday by getting back on track.

Food for thought

Breakfast: seltzer; almonds

Lunch: seltzer; string cheese; deli turkey

Dinner: spinach salad with barbecue chicken, black beans, peppers, onions, avocado, tomato, and bleu cheese; seltzer; half of a Hershey's bar

After dinner: 1.5 white russians

Okay, maybe not. However, when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was back down to 157. Meaning that so far this whole thing has been pretty much a wash. Let's hope I'm on track for the rest of this week!

Day 6: first weigh-in

I had my first weigh-in today and it wasn't exciting but it wasn't terribly disappointing either. I weighed in at 156.2 - which is 1.8lb less than last time I weighed myself. It's also the same weight I thought I was originally. Whatever. By next week, I'm hoping to be down to 154. Of course, next weekend is Easter, so my diet will be shot to hell! But still. Even if I didn't lose any weight, I'm content with knowing that I have been eating healthier and making smarter decisions.

Food for Thought

Breakfast: matzo-brie; turkey bacon; coffee

Lunch: two slices of American cheese; 2 slices of turkey; water; half of a Hershey's bar

Dinner: 3 slices of chourico & onion pizza

Carb fail.

Day 5: the day before judgment day

I'm going to do my first weigh-in since Tuesday morning tomorrow (Saturday) morning. I have no clue which way the scale is going to lean this week. I have been doing a pretty damn good job with this diet and it bums me out that I don't feel any different. I'm hoping that I will have lost at least 3 pounds to keep myself feeling motivated. Not that I'm going to stop sticking to the diet if I didn't lose anything. But still. I need some positive reinforcement here, body!

In any event, I am going to take my second cheat today because we are having a going away party for my supervisor in the Housing Office. Hello, bagel! I will enjoy you greatly.

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 calorie vanilla yogurt & mixed in "good health energy" (blend of soy nuts, cranberries, almonds & pumpkin kernels)

Party foods: asiago bagel w/ cream cheese; coffee

Lunch: half of an onion bagel w/ cream cheese; carrot sticks

Dinner: chicken breast stuffed with portabello mushrooms, spinach, & goat cheese; brussel sprouts; probably some wine

I will update tomorrow after my weigh in! O_o Wish me luck!

Day 4

I've been cooped up in an office all day, so I haven't had the opportunity to cheat or even think about cheating. However, I'm on duty tonight unitl 1 a.m....and that's about the time that the cravings set in.

I took one cheat last night with Diet Pepsi. Curse you, beautiful brown, sparkling beverage! Afterwards, I felt bloated and gross. I must say that despite having followed this diet for the last 4 days, I don't see or feel any improvement in my body. Granted I haven't done a weigh-in and won't be doing one until tomorrow. But I feel like I saw some pretty quick results last time I started this diet. If I don't see any results by next week, I am going to feel pretty discouraged!

Food for thought

Breakfast: omelette with bacon, cheese, mushrooms, peppers, onions, spinach; cranberry juice

Lunch: almonds; carrots; water

Snack: strawberry real fruit bar

Dinner[anticipated]: deli turkey & mozzarella cheese stick

Day 3: planning ahead

Three days in and the going is good. Or something.

I found this gem of a list: The 20 Worst Foods in America. Truly terrifying. I definitely know of a few things I will not be ordering in the near future. Some of it is no surprise, but who would think that a seemingly harmless salad could hide so much atrociousness behind its leafy green exterior?

I haven't really been tempted to cheat yet, so that's nice. I'm kind of enjoying the diet for the time being, though I miss french fries already. In the life of a normal person, french fries would not be readily available anytime you walk into your meal facility. In my life, there are vats of delicious golden french fries basking in the warm and inviting glow of a heat lamp begging me to eat them. But I will resist, friends. I may opt for a banana. At least they're in the same color family.

Food for thought

Breakfast: a fat free apple turnover-flavored yogurt

Lunch: kale soup!!!!, garden salad, green tea with mint

Dinner: bag of almonds, a strawberry real fruit bar

Staff snack: dark chocolate dipped oranges & strawberries

I'm not sure if it's sad or good that I am able to write out everything that I'm going to eat for the day before the day actually happens. I think it's somewhat healthy to plan ahead - and this diet definitely requires me to do so. I have to know what I'll be able to eat at Res so I don't end up eating crap because I can't think of anything I want. And because I won't be going back to my room until about 10 p.m., I certainly have to plan ahead with some portable snacks to sustain me.

Speaking of planning, I am going to plan on doing a fifteen minute workouts every night once I get back to my room. I know it's not much, but it's all I've got to give for the time being and something is better than nothing. Even just getting my heart -rate up a bit should be beneficial in some capacity. Here are the videos I'm going to use (they're ones that I did over the summer, as well): 10 minute cardio kickboxing, 5 minute cardio workout.

Also, here's a 15 minute desk workout for funsies. Might have to start doing this while I'm at the housing office. Maybe time will go by faster.

I'm also getting back into the habit of taking multi-vits, conveniently in a delicious gummy form.

All in all, things are looking up. Except for my weight. That best be looking down. Way down.

Diet overview

I'm not technically following the 4 Hour Body diet nor am I sticking to the ever-popular Atkins diet. This diet is one that I have designed myself that is a hybrid of a bunch of different diets. It's a diet that works for me because I know the types of foods that I tend to consume / am drawn to. I also know the substitutes I can make in my diet that work for me.

Here are my weaknesses: bread, fried things, pasta, desserts, late night snacking, chips, soda, dressings/dips, going out to eat

I do not eat enough: vegetables, fruit, water

Here is the plan:
- no carbs
- cut down on sugar
- no soda (not even diet. farewell, diet pepsi. you shall be missed!)
- more mid-day snacking
- less late-night snacking
- 2 cheats per week
- 1 full cheat day per week (no bingeing!)
- ...and continue until graduation / until I get into a regular exercise routine

Here are the things I am cutting from my diet until I reach 150 (or less!)
- all breads, breading, grains etc
- pasta
- rice
- potatoes/potato products
- cakes / cookies / most desserts
- fried anything
- soda
- chips / pretzels / crackers / snack foods
- anything with dough / yeast-based
- beer

Here are things that will be staples in my diet:
- yogurt
- string cheese
- almonds
- deli meat (preferably turkey)
- high-protein salads
- peanut butter
- grab 'n'go veggies (carrots, celery, tomatoes)
- berries
- beans (lentils, red beans, black beans, chickpeas)
- tofu
- grapes
- tea / coffee
- seltzer (substitute for soda)

Have any recipes that you think will work for me? Send 'em my way!

I'll keep posting any recipes that I use / useful websites that I find.

I know I've said it before, but...

...140 lb, here I come!

Day 2: food for thought

So despite a carb-less day/night, the scale read 158.2 lb this morning. I'm just going to pretend that never happened...

Aside from this disappointment, today has been pretty much smooth sailing in the diet department. My one complaint is that the salads here are super salty. I've experimented with different dressings (today is Lite Red Wine Vinaigrette) and haven't found anything that satisfied me. I am also trying to stay away from the Portabello mushroom salad option because their mushrooms seems like they are literally stewed in salt water, but they didn't have any tomato mozzarella salads today. Lame.

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 yogurt, 1 stick of mozzarella string cheese, 1 cup of green tea

Snack: raw almonds

Late lunch: spinach salad with portabello mushrooms, grilled zucchini & peppers, carrot strips, bacon bits, and lite red wine vinaigrette

Pre-class perk: iced latte w/ soy milk & sugar

On-duty perk: medium coconut-mocha coffee (black)

Yep, I skipped dinner. I didn't really feel hungry until about 1 a.m....and there was no way I was going to give in to cravings only to go to bed and let it all sit in my gut. I think I definitely consumed enough calories for the day, but I don't think that I should have had two coffees and I do think that I should have some carrots or something after class.

However, I was still able to stay within the parameters of the diet...and that's what I care about the most. The coffee intake was a fluke because I typically drink plain tea instead. But when you know you're facing a 3.5 hour long class as well as a late late night after having been up since 6 a.m., I'm going to go ahead and say that it's entirely justifiable for me to want a little caffeinated pick me up!

OMG - time to brush off the cobwebs!

Ok, people. This is for real.

Last week I stepped on the scale and it read 158 and I was like "Uh uh, girlfriend. This is not happening."

I have been eating a lot. Going out to eat a lot. Not exercising at all. And I feel (and probably look) wretched.

Since then, I have managed to get down to a solid 156, but I will not be happy until those 6 pounds are gone and I can begin my journey to 140.

So. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I do not realistically have time to workout for the next few weeks. Graduation is only 1.5 months away and I have a lot of things to do. I am getting my bike back on Easter weekend and will hopefully be able to get back in the saddle (literally), but it seems as though my diet is the easiest thing to control for the time being and it doesn't interfere with my productivity.

That being said, I am jumping back in to the no-carb lifestyle. I will allow myself two cheats a week and one full cheat day. I will stay on this diet until I am back down to 150. By that time, I will hopefully be closer to holding a normal schedule and not running around like crazy between all of my jobs and obligations. I cannot wait to graduate so I can finally regulate my schedule and actually get to the gym. I also look forward to all of the students moving out of school so I can have my private gym facility once again. <3 the summer.

Food for thought

Breakfast/Lunch [didn't eat til 1]: 100 calorie yogurt (raspberry cheesecake); popcorn green tea with honey

Snack: grapes, 1 hershey's chocolate bar

Dinner: barbecued chinese chicken lettuce wraps (link to the Rachael Ray recipe) YUMMM; one glass of cab sauv

Off to a good start...let's see how I do once I have to go back to school for the rest of the week...

Clean slate tomorrow, never today...

So I'd taken a brief hiatus from the world of blogging to spare you from the "I'm a terrible cheating cheater!" entries which dominate my entire page at the moment.

However, I will say that amidst all that cheating, I went to the gym one time! Hooray! I ran a mile on the treadmill and did a mile on the elliptical. I would like to say that that set a trend for me, but honestly...college living has to be the worst atmosphere to create a steady life full of delicious routine and good eats. Seriously.

I went away this weekend and partook in much carb-eating. By the end of the weekend I felt pretty gross. My magical jeans which normally fit me no matter my size felt a little snug on Monday and I was none too happy about it.

I had originally decided to screw the diet, because it is terribly hard for me to maintain any big lifestyle changes when my lifestyle is the reason for all of this in the first place. Inconsistent hours, lots of time commitments, and lack of a kitchen really make for bad decisions. However, after stepping on the scale on Sunday and noting that I was back at 155, I realized that enough is enough and I wanted to put those restrictions back on myself.

During the weeks when I was doing well with the diet, I felt SO good. Even though I'd snuck in a few cheats, I just felt slimmer and more confident and more energetic. So I've decided that back to the diet it is. And if I have to cheat a few times along the way, whatever. I think the root of that issue is thinking about it as cheating. If I think of this diet as an obligation, I will fail. If I think of it as something that I genuinely want to do for myself and have the results in sight, I will do much better for myself.

I am also feeling pressured to be more athletic. I know that I am going to have an active summer with people who are far more naturally active than I am, so I certainly have to take the initiative to train and get myself in good enough shape that I can keep up with them.

Motivation, motivation.

Today

Breakfast: low fat string cheese, mint green tea, red apple, tropical trail mix
Lunch: kale soup, turkey breast
Dinner: portabello mushroom salad

Days 15&16: low

I don't know if I'm just feeling the effects of the despondent weather or if I'm suffering from SAD or if I'm just bored, but these last few days I have felt super low-energy and lethargic. I know it's not from lack of carbs, because I cheated three times yesterday. I dunno. I've just felt blah.

Anyway, I wanted to start this week off with a clean slate, but I obviously haven't done a very good job of it. I didn't cheat on Monday, but Tuesday wasn't so good.

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 calorie yogurt, low-fat string cheese

Lunch: chicken nuggets [first fail], spicy black beans, red delicious apple, chocolate milk

Snack: banana chips with crunchy peanut butter

Dinner [or lack thereof]: two cups of goldfish [second fail], pomegranate seltzer

After dinner: rainbow cupcake [third fail]

Today has been alright so far, but then again I'm only 3 hours into my day. I am scheduled to go to the Maple Ridge Gym @ 6 tonight with a new gym buddy. I feel like I just need to try something to get my spirits up [or at least make me feel better about myself], and hopefully exercise will do the trick.

Days 12 - 14: recap & weigh-in

Ugh.

That is the only word that can accurately describe how I feel about my diet this past week. I cheated like 6 times.

I was good on Friday. I ate yogurt and cheese and nuts and then made scallops, broccoli, and bacon-wrapped steak for dinner.

Then the weekend came. I had designated Saturday for cheat day, because we were having a Chili festival, so cheat I did: beer, chili, chips with clam dip, cookies with Funfetti, s'more brownies, vodka etc.

Sunday also came with some cheating: burger w/ french fries for lunch. Dinner @ Panera (cobb salad, macncheese).

Despite all of this cheating, I weighed 152.2 on Sunday morning. How this is possible, I don't know.

What this means is that I lost .4 pounds over the past week, which makes no sense because I ate my little heart out. Not that .4 pounds is anything exciting, but still. I'm shocked I didn't gain all four pounds that I lost back!

Weigh - In Recap

1st weigh in: 156.4
Last weigh in: 152.6
Most recent weigh in: 152.2
Total weight loss: 4.2 lbs

I mean, it's not much, but it's definitely something.

Today, I put on a pair of skinny jeans and they slid on quite nicely. I was excited about it.

I'm vowing to be good this week. So much better than last week.

Food for thought

Brunch: one low fat string cheese, 3 slices of turkey breast

Late Lunch: one 100 calorie yogurt, 2 cups of banana chips with crunchy peanut butter, bottle of water

Dinner: two pieces of sashimi tuna w/veggies, steak salad with bacon vinaigrette, hot cocoa with whipped cream vodka

Day 11: snow day indulgences

I have been SO bad this week. I feel horribly, terribly guilty for my lack of resolution and inability to resist deliciousness.

I was quite horrified to step on a scale mid-day yesterday [gotta do it when you can!] and see that my weight was back at 156. Of course, this was the middle of the day and I was wearing clothes...so hopefully that factors in a few pounds. Hopefully.

Not that I deserve to be at 152. After the cheats earlier this week and the cheats today coupled with lack of gym-age, it would serve me right to be 170. *Shudder*

Here's the cheat-o-rific breakdown. I cringe thinking about it:

Breakfast: non-existent

Lunch: sesame chicken with noodles & corn, coffee

Dinner: turkey breast wrapped in provolone, pickles, green apple, Dr. Pepper

After dinner: two mini snickers bars, 2 cups of Diet Pepsi

Verdict: FAIL.

Day 10: cheater cheater bagel eater

It's true. I've been really bad in the last 24 hours. This is what happens when I am bored and living in one room.

Last night while on duty, I consumed a cup of Diet Pepsi. It was delectable. I also had 3 mini snickers. Evil people leaving delicious and tempting things around! I have no willpower at midnight after a super-long day :(

Today, I went to a breakfast meeting and obviously had to have a bagel. I was like Okay, that's fine. I had my Diet Pepsi last night and I'll count that as one cheat and then the bagel will be my second cheat for the week and then I still get a full cheat day. I'm golden.

And I was. Until five minutes ago, when I returned to my room and realized that I had nothing to do except play the Sims and glare at a box of goldfish smiling at me from atop my closet. Eat me! the smile said. I don't know about you, but I have a hard time saying No to a smile.

Breakfast: 1 bagel with low fat cream cheese, cup of coffee

Lunch: 100 calorie blueberry yogurt, 1 low-fat string cheese, a handful of almonds

Dinner: 1 hot dog, 5 celery stalks with peanut butter

After dinner - at 11 p.m., nonetheless! : cup'o'goldfish

As I sit in my bed enjoying my cup of carbs with the sleet pelting my window, I dream of a better time, 48 hours ago, when I was merrily refraining from eating at all and feeling optimistic about the gym days to come. Oh, how quickly the might have fallen! And oh, how quickly will my weight rise!

Day 9: settling

Aside from having to get up at 6 a.m., I'm having a great day! Having such an early start to my day means that I can have a more regulated meal schedule - which is much healthier than my usual one-meal-a-day.

I am really liking my schedule so far this semester. Even though it's only the second day, I feel like I'm starting to settle into my routine and also into a better meal routine. I plan on using the kitchen to prepare foods whenever I'm on duty and on the nights when I'm in the building (for simple things, like tonight's lentil soup). For breakfast, I normally grab a yogurt and one other thing and I hope to have lunch at Res at least 3x a week. [I also wanted to go to the gym at least 3x a week, and we all know how that's working out...]. But anyway, yes. Schedule = good.

Today =

Breakfast: vanilla Chobani yogurt with almonds & dried cranberries, cup of green tea with honey

Lunch: eggplant & chickpea curry, black beans with guacamole, banana, chocolate milk

Snack: green tea with mint, nectarine

Dinner: lentil soup

Day 8: One week in!

I'm having my week-aversary today with this no-carb diet, and I have to say it's been a pretty delightful relationship thus far. I did another weigh-in this morning and am at 152.6 (went up .2 lbs since weigh in 3 days ago...I can thank pizza, Coldstone & chocolate for that!), but I'm still pleased with my results. I mean, if I lost four pounds every week, I could be nonexistent in 39 weeks. Awesome.

I still haven't made it to the gym yet, which is a bummer. But how can I be expected to want to go when it's either -100 degrees out or snowing all the time? Seriously.

Today, I finished the last of my three Chobani yogurts.

Chobani verdict: Thanks, but no thanks. I found the consistency to be awkward, the flavor to be sour, and the price to be expensive [comparatively]. I had to mix a ton of trail mix or other things to tone down the taste of the yogurt. All in all, it wasn't a very satisfying experience. I think I'll stick with my Yoplait 100 calorie cups, thanks.

Food for thought

Breakfast: honey chobani yogurt with tropical trail mix, one low-fat string cheese

Lunch: one low-fat string cheese, apple

Snack: cup of orange pekoe tea, 1/2 of a dark chocolate-peppermint candy bar

Dinner: a happy accident! I bought tilapia, but turns out that magical ponies have a certain distaste for such fish. Improvised and made a veggie stir-fry with asparagus, bean sprouts, mushrooms, onions and black beans in an herb-garlic marinade. Honestly, it was like the most delicious thing I've eaten in a long time. Also had 1/2 of a glass of Merlot.

Suggestion: bean sprouts are a GREAT substitute for pasta. They take on the flavor of any marinade and still add some substance to your meal. I plan on keeping them in stock.

Also, I'm making an addendum to my diet. I know I said no eating after 8 p.m., but on nights like tonight when I don't get to even make dinner until 8:30/9, that doesn't really work. So here we go: No snacking after 8 p.m. No full meals after 9:30 p.m.

Day 7: Awesome cake

Today, I put on a pair of pants that were a little tight for me towards the end of the semester and they are officially too big! I mean - don't get me wrong, my hips will hold up any pair of pants - but they now give me horrible sag-ass and bag in the legs.

I am hoping to some day fit back into the pants I've been holding on to since Sophomore year. I realize this is a long stretch, since I looked mildly anorexic back in those days. And you know what? Even when I was mad skinny, I still wore a size 6/8. Thank you, hips. I shall never ever be capable of wearing anything smaller than that.

I tried the Chobani yogurt this morning (pomegranate flavor) and wasn't too excited by it. It had a strange texture and I noted that there is a lot of sugar & carbohydrates in it. I understand that it has a lot protein, but I'm not sure why everyone is so into it. Enlighten me?

Speaking of food:

Breakfast/Lunch: 1 pomegranate Chobani with a handful of raw almonds and dried cranberries mixed in, 1 low-fat string cheese, a handful of creme-brulee almonds

Early dinner: 3 slices of low-fat deli turkey, a handful of Wasabi peas, an apple, a cup of mint green tea

I might have another small snack around 7, since I ate "dinner" at 4:30. I have to say that so far, the no eating after 8 thing is working out well. In general, this whole diet is working well. I am SHOCKED by how much I don't miss carbs. Zero cravings. None.

I am also feeling really really good. I worried that I would feel lethargic, but I don't. I went to Old Navy today and felt SO good about myself. Everything looked great. Additionally, I was able to score two sweaters, a dress, three fancy shirts, two long sleeve shirts, a scarf, and an insulated lunchbox for under $50, so that was icing on the awesome cake.

Day 6: cheat day & results

So I did my first weigh-in on Tuesday and weighed 156.4 lb. Today, I weighed in at 152.4... Which means that I've lost exactly 4 lbs! Holllla! I am now only 3 lbs away from being under 150, which is sexy....and only 12.4 lbs away from my goal weight. I'm SO okay with it!

Of course, today happens to be cheat day...hopefully this influx of cals won't go straight to my hips!

Breakfast: waffles, coffee ( both made by a magical pony)

Lunch: small bowl of sesame ginger stirfry (carb-free with corn, spinach, peapods, chicken, onions, water chestnuts, and mushrooms)

Dinner: cheese pizza, diet pepsi, and a "like it" cheesecake fantasy ice cream @ Coldstone

Well, there go the four pounds I lost!

On the bright side, I bought the Chobani yogurt that everyone has been recommending to me and I am eager to try it. I am also surprisingly looking forward to being back on my diet tomorrow. The first time I went food-shopping, I felt very overwhelmed by everything that I couldn't eat. Today, I had an easier time spotting things that I could & actually wanted to eat. I bought black bean burgers and a western veggie mix, as well.

In addition to allowing myself one full cheat day per week, I am also allowing myself two small cheats a week. So, for instance, the one bag of pita chips I consumed earlier this week plus one cup of diet pepsi plus all of the stuff I ate today would = my total cheats for the week. I think that sounds pretty reasonable.

Today, when i say "I can do this," I have way more faith that I can.

I just need to start going to the gym and I will be golden. 140 here I come!

Day 5: so far, so good

Today I am SO tired. I stayed up really late last night putting the finishing touches on my hallway in preparation for my residents, who will return on Sunday.

On a good note, though, my diet today has been pretty stellar!

Breakfast: one 100-calorie yogurt, 1 cup of tropical trail mix [dried pineapple, banana chips, raisins, papaya, coconut], water

Lunch: one low-fat string cheese, 1/2 cup of dried apples, 1/3 cup of honey-roasted almonds

Dinner: low fat kielbasa sautéed with peppers and onions, honey balsamic green beans, bloody Mary

Day 4: win some, lose some

Aside from my epic breakfast fail [read: 2 donuts!], I was actually able to redeem myself somewhat with my food intake for the rest of the day.

Breakfast: one chocolate glazed donut, one apple crumb donut, 1 cup of cranberry juice

Quick Lunch: (I legit only had 10 minutes to eat) 1 cup of minestrone soup [didn't eat the noodles], 1 cup of diet pepsi [eh, small slip. it's just so good!]

Dinner: 5 slices of turkey wrapped in 2 slices of swiss cheese, one soup bowl of steamed broccoli, 1 cup of skim milk, 1 cup of coffee with 2 creamers and 2 sugars

According to Alli, I should be consuming 1400 calories a day. I'm not sure if what I'm eating contains that many calories, though I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that those donuts definitely satisfied my daily cal intake!

It was nice to reintroduce a fresh veggie and some fruit juice into my repertoire. Thanks, UMD. I look forward to eating more of your offerings in the near future.

On another note, it would be awesome if I weren't too tired to go to the gym every day. And also if it didn't snow, thus making the gym even less desirable.

Day 3: the thing about diets is...

that they're self imposed. If you're a closet carb-eater, who is going to know it once the doors are shut? The only person you have to answer to is yourself. The only thing you feel is guilt and regret. There are no immediate consequences for your slips.

Still, I suppose feeling guilty is enough to prove that you have had a change in thinking...which has to mean something, right?

So yes, dear blog readers, what this means is that I did indeed eat a 200 calorie bag of parmesan garlic & herb pita chips at around 7:30 this evening. It was an impulsive move on my part. This is what I get for not ridding my room of all dietary-no-nos (I just couldn't stand the thought of throwing away all of that food!).

Also, it has come to my attention that I'm not really going to be able to do a good job with the diet this week. We will be eating mostly bagged meals and options will be extremely limited. In other words, if I want to eat at all, I don't really have much of a choice. And tomorrow happens to be a donut breakfast. That's the only option. Donuts. I don't even like donuts that much. But just thinking about being able to cheat and eat one is giving me a slight thrill. Is that normal?

I've been talking to a lot of people about dieting, etc. I signed up for alli.com - which is a website which provides pills for people who want to lose weight. I'm not going to buy the pills, but I am going to use their tips and dietary guidance to help me on my journey. According to their website, my BMI is in a healthy range, so hooray on that! I'm not considered obese by a bullshit bunch of standards!

I've also been weighing the pros and cons of limiting myself from eating something. It might have averse effects. For instance, I felt so devilishly guilty eating those pita chips that I enjoyed them more than I would have on a normal occassion. And the same goes for the donuts. Normally, I would just be like Eh, donuts...whatever. But because I told myself that I can't have them, I'm all DONUTS?!!!!!!?!?!?!!! WOOT!

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Is it good that I feel guilty because it means that I am being more conscious of my consumption or is it bad because I am getting more excited about my indulgences? What potential habits could this create for me? Could it lead to binge eating or more closet behavior?

Lots of questions.

Anyway, up until my pita chip slip, I was doing pretty well for myself:

Breakfast: 100 calorie fat free yogurt, 1/3 cup tropical fruit trail mix

Lunch: 1 low fat string cheese, 4 slices of low fat deli turkey, 1 cup of dried cranberries & almonds, 5 chocolate meringues (which are basically egg whites and cocoa powder in a light and fluffy form - super low calorie, low-carb and low-fat)

Dinner: small bag of parmesan garlic & herb pita chips (which only had 28g of carbs...9% of the RDV), green tea with mint [healthiest. dinner. ever.]

What's missing from my diet? Fruits and vegetables and substantial protein. I am loving the deli meat, but my sides are lacking. I'm definitely looking forward to the start of the regular school year so I can help balance myself out a little bit. It's clear to me that I won't be meeting my body's nutritional needs if I keep eating out of a dorm fridge and a microwave. Translation: I need a kitchen!!!!!

And for those of you who were wondering: I didn't go to the gym today. My pass isn't activated yet and I can't get into it. However, I may or may have not have done some high-quality dance-aerobics to David Guetta in my room *cough*. This is one time when it's perfectly okay to indulge behind a closed door.

Tomorrow = donuts for breakfast. no gym. lots of sitting through boring things. and no idea as to what the rest of the day's menu holds. I am going to try to be healthy about this, but I make no promises.

Day 2: Epic shopping adventure

Ok, so it wasn't really epic. I'd say it was closer to a sad, sad day...walking down all of those aisles full of foods that I can't eat. They mocked me. They tempted me. I kept on walking.

This is going to be really hard. Not having a full kitchen severely limits my options because I have to have foods that are already prepared. There are not many prepared foods without bread or breading or pasta or rice of some sort.

I wouldn't be able to do this diet at all if I didn't allow myself dairy & fruit.

Rest in peace, dear bagels, goldfish, sandwiches, chicken nuggets, cookies, french fries, macaroni and cheese, pizza, dr. pepper, etc.

Here's what I DID buy:

- frozen green beans w/ almonds
- brussel sprouts
- cheddar broccoli
- almonds
- dried fruit (bananas, apples, mangos, cranberries)
- sunflower seeds
- light, fat free yogurt
- low fat mozzarella string cheese
- 98% fat free deli turkey
- low fat deli ham
- black beans
- lentil soup
- hot dogs
- tea / coffee / honey (which i'm going to use as a sugar substitute)
- peanut butter
- boiled soy beans (edamame)
- sparkling water (to help me phase out diet pepsi)

I bought all of this stuff at Wal-mart - hence the lack of fresh produce. I am definitely going to add those kind of things into my repertoire, but I'm gonna do it on the University's dime and eat THEIR fresh [shudder] produce, instead. Thanks, free meal plan.

I also got a link to this awesome article about why the the scale lies, courtesy of Jackie Bates.

First weigh in
156.4 lb
Of course, I am menstrual, so that's got to count for something...I hope. In the above article it mentions that women tend to hold on to a lot of water weight in the beginning stages of their period. Go away, water! I do not want my body to retain water like a cactus. I am plenty hydrated, thanks.

Food for thought

Breakfast: handful of honey-roasted almonds, 100 calorie yogurt

Lunch: 3 pieces of deli turkey, 1 serving of dried apples, handful of creme-brulee almonds

Snack: tropical fruit trail mix

Dinner: 1 hot dog, 1 low-fat string cheese, 1 fat free chocolate pudding, 1 cup of green tea

Ch-ch-changes

Here is what I looked like in 2007 (sophomore year). I weighed 130 pounds.

Here is what I look like now. I weigh 155 pounds.

I suppose that I don't carry that extra 25 pounds TERRIBLY, per se. But you can see the difference, can't you? I look lithe and svelte and thin and awesome in the two sophomore year pictures compared to now. I don't think I could lose 25 pounds or look like that again. But it's good motivation to know that I looked that way once and could find a happy medium between the two weights. If I could get down to 140, I'd be thrilled. Hell, if I could do 145, that'd be enough for me.

The thing about weight is that it's like a phantom. I worked out ALL summer for the last two summers every single day and dieted and I didn't really lose any weight. People told me I looked better, but the scale said otherwise. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat, but it's still disheartening.

Semester work-out and diet plans

Since I left Florida, I have not been very good to my body! On Saturday [travel day] I ate a pastry for breakfast and then went to a sushi buffet with my sister for lunch/dinner (SO MUCH SUSHI!!!). On Sunday, I had a lazy day and ate pancakes, bacon, chips, and pizza. I feel gross thinking about it.

I have also not exercised.

Curses, real life!

So here's the plan. I've finally mapped out my semester's schedule and have 3 time slots per week to go to the gym. Which isn't as fabulous as my summer or Florida regimen, but is definitely better than what I did last semester. When I go to the gym, I am going to continue to do the elliptical and the treadmill, hopefully working my way down to a 9 minute mile!

Additionally, I am going to be on a diet. Some of my friends are on a 4 Hour Body diet and have had amazing results - losing around 10 pounds in 2 weeks (crazy!). I am not going to put the same extreme restrictions on my diet, but I realize my current diet needs modifying. Over the school year, I eat one big meal a day and then have a few snacks. This isn't healthy.

Here's my adapted diet:

- High protein
- Lots of greens
- No breads of any kind
- No pasta or chips or pizza or bagels or cookies or any simple carbs
- No soda
- Little dairy intake (low fat, low sodium only)
- No eating after 8 p.m.
- Make sure to eat 2-3 meals a day
- Do not drink my calories (ie, limit sugary, high-calorie drinks)

The 4 Hour Body asks suggests giving up dairy, but I'm not going to. I plan on having low-fat yogurts for breakfast because I don't have a kitchen and am at the mercy of the Sodexo gods. My fridge is going to be stocked with lunch meats, hummus, veggies, fruit, yogurt, and cheese.

I started today and here is my menu:

Food for thought

Lunch: salad with cherries, walnuts, chicken and poppyseed dressing, bottle of seltzer

Dinner: spinach with barbecue chicken, avocado, tomatoes, corn, and black beans

Like the 4 Hour Body diet, I am allowing myself one cheat day per week - which means that I can eat whatever I want.

I realize that this is going to be an extremely hard diet to follow, since I can't cook for myself. Most of my meals come from the cafeteria, and who knows WHAT is in that food? For lunch, I am going to eat mostly deli meats with a side salad, but I'm worried that I am going to get bored with the offerings.

We'll see how it goes!

I am going to continue to update every day if I can and am going to do a weigh-in every week. I'm simultaneously optimistic and realistic, but I think this is going to be good for me. As long as I can stick with it...

Last day :(

My final day in Florida, I had the best workout of the week!

I started off by going to the gym and doing 2 miles on the elliptical, weight machines (with extra reps!), and the usual 1 mile on the treadmill. I had come to think of the treadmill as a self-challenge, so I tried to - again - beat my time. I was able to finish the mile in 12:39 - bringing me down almost 3 whole minutes from my original mile. In one week. Impressive, I know.

Imagine what I could accomplish if I did it for a month? Six months? A year? Some day, I would love to get a 9 minute mile. I'm thinking about signing up for another 5k so I can have the added motivation, but who knows where I'll be next summer?

Back to Friday.

After the gym, Senor and I decided to go on our longest bike ride of the week down to Spanish Springs (the town square at the other end of the villages). We headed down and around the golf cart path toward our destination. The weather was absolutely perfect. The best weather we've had since coming to Florida!

When we reached SS, we walked around the lake for a while, watching some people kayak and a maiden voyage for an electric sail boat, then crossed the street to the other side of the lake. What we encountered there was enough to give Nancy Drew chills! Hundreds of dead and petrified catfish, washed up on the shore with their guts ripped out. We followed a trail of them around the entire damn lake. Senor commented that it looked like Armageddon - and we could only speculate as to what happened. We thought the water must be poisoned. So many fish! And all the same kind!

We headed back to the other side of the street and caught up with some kayakers, who informed us that armored catfish bury in the sand near the shore. Because there has a been a drought and the waters are low, the fish end up stuck on the banks and die. They also said that the ph balance of the water is off because so many birds populate that area and shit in the water, which could act as a poison for the fish. The reason they were gutted? The birds got to 'em. Mystery solved!

After that, we biked back to Virginia Trace, taking a different route than we had on the way there. We followed Morse all the way up. The terrain was fairly flat and the day continued to shine. It was the most enjoyable bike ride I've had in a longggg time!

Later that evening, I walked into town with Joanne to pick up dessert for everyone.

Definitely an active day! I will miss you, Florida!

Food for thought

Breakfast: one 1o0 calorie yogurt, 1 cup of tea

Lunch: grilled cheese with tomatoes, onions, spinach, pickles

Dinner: grilled pork chops, brown rice with honey soy sauce, breaded eggplant

Dessert: Mounds (chocolate coconut cake)

Motivation

This morning, I slept in until 10 and felt kind of lazy as I lounged around and ate two pieces of oat nut toast with margarine and a cup of tea with honey. Around 12, the group of four of us loaded into the car to hit the gym. I was still tempted to bike there, but it was only 32 degrees out and fairly cloudy, so I decided against it.

When we got to the gym, I immediately felt at home. Over the past week, I've settled into a pretty good routine and have started to feel somewhat fit again and definitely more confident. I tackled the elliptical first, and whipped out 2 miles. Then I did the weight machines again and ended on the treadmill.

I was determined to beat my time from yesterday, and beat it I did. I also *gasp* enjoyed the treadmill again. I'm sickened to type such things. But I have to say that my playlist is PERFECT. Each step I take corresponds to each note and makes me feel youthful, vibrant, and happy to be moving in time. Gross.

After I hopped off, my mom told me that I looked athletic and my dad told me that I looked like I was running at a good pace. I will agree that I felt both of those things at the time. I also DID manage to beat my time from Wednesday: I finished that mile in 13 minutes, shaving off another 1 minute, bringing my total mileage to -2.5 minutes from my starting point. Not bad for a week's worth of gyming, eh?

I'm nervous that once I return to school, I will lose this drive. I don't want it to happen, but I also didn't want it to happen after this productive and athletic summer. And it did.

How to keep myself motivated? How to remind myself that I actually enjoy working out, that I love the way I feel during and after - even if the before is sometimes a nuisance (especially when it requires me to wake up at 6 a.m. and trudge across a snowy campus)?

I'm the kind of person who needs to feel held accountable to others. Self-imposed deadlines and restrictions do not work for me. I need to feel that someone is watching me, is depending on me. This is why I've always felt inclined to work out with a gym buddy. This is why I've always appealed to other people's opinions of myself: how do I look? Does it look like I've gained weight? Do you think I need to lose weight?

It's a weakness in myself that I don't quite know how to conquer. And it extends to other things beyond my body. I have the same sense when it comes to most other things in my life: my work ethic, my hobbies, etc.

Am I ever going to be able to answer to myself and myself only? Who knows. But for now, I need the encouragement and I need the reproach if I don't succeed. Hence this blog. When I stop posting, you know that I've stopped working out. So, hold me accountable!! I need the pressure.

Food for thought

Lunch: grilled spinach, tomatoes and onions on wheat nut bread with two slices of American cheese. 1 piece of bologna. 1 can of diet pepsi. One 90 calorie Snicker's ice cream bar

Dinner: for dinner tonight, we're going out. We haven't gone out for any dinners since I've arrived! So tonight = splurge night. And unfortunately, we only have one dinner left after that before I head back to the snowy, desolate, unbikeable terrain of Massachusetts :(

Best workout in a long time!

Today was perhaps the best exercise day I've had since re-starting my regimen.

It was freezing (by Florida standards) this morning, but Senor and I decided to brave the cold in order to get a pre-gym warm up on our bicycles. We layered up and hit the road (err...golf cart trails) and headed to Sea Breeze Rec center. It was a great ride! Not very windy. It was quick and painless!

Once we got to the gym, I busted out 2 miles on the elliptical, did a bunch of weight machines, and topped off my routine with a mile on the treadmill. I challenged myself to do a thirteen minute mile (the last time I did one, I had completed it in around 15.5 minutes). I didn't meet my goal, but I did shave 1.5 minutes off of my last time, bringing me to a 14 minute mile. It's not fantastic and I am decidedly not bragging about it, but I am surprised that I was able to do it that quickly, considering that a) I hate running and b) I haven't run in a long time.

And the most surprising thing of all? I actually enjoyed it. Yes, I, a self-named hater of running, enjoyed a run. Ew. What made it enjoyable was my music. I had on the Ultra 2010 trance mix that Hozay gave me and the steady progression of pounding beats was enough to keep me going. At times, when I was walking, I was tempted to go faster in order to keep up with the groovy tunes. There was a decided bounce in my steps and each one felt like a dance move. Who AM I?

Food for thought

Breakfast: 1 small Lender's bagel with whipped cream cheese, 1 cup of dark chocolate almond milki

Lunch: 1 bowl of tomato soup, one hot dog

Dinner: 2 crab cakes, egg noodles, zucchini&squash medley

Dessert: creamy chocolate coconut squares. So sinfully delicious!

Maybe I should start taking pictures of what I eat, instead. That would be more exciting for you. Yet it would be more work for me. I'll think about it.

Food fail

Today is Tuesday. I woke up at 8:30 and prepped myself for the gorging of a lifetime.

I was picked up by my personal chauffeurs around 9:30 and we headed to breakfast at Too Jay's - a deli in Lake Sumter. Within the span of an hour, I consumed enough food to feed a family of 8, and I'm not proud of it but I'm not ashamed, either. It was all delicious and I savored every greasy, carb-infested calorie that entered my gullet.

- 2 cups of coffee
- 1 belgian waffle
- 2 over-medium eggs
- 3 pieces of bacon
- a few homefries
- two pieces of rye toast

Alright, well now that it's out in the open for all the world to view, I suppose I feel somewhat ashamed. But it counted as my breakfast AND lunch, so if you squint your eyes and pretend that I've separated those into two different meals, it might not sound so offensive. Oh, who am I kidding? I ate three day's worth of calories in that one meal, and as off 5 p.m. today, I haven't exercised one little bit.

My only defense is that I'm practicing for retirement.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the evening holds better food choices (probably not, since we're going to Margarita Republic for Sangria and live entertainment) and exercise (again, probably not).

Well, there's always tomorrow...

[Edit]

For dinner, I had two crab cakes and guacamole consisting of: 1 avocado, some onions, some tomatoes, lemon juice, a dab of olive oil, salt & pepper. I also consumed 2.5 glasses of sangria.

Monday funday

I woke up at 9 this morning and had a 100 calorie fat free blueberry cobbler yogurt before mounting my bicycle with father, despite the weather forecast. We were to meet my mom & Joanne at the Seabreeze Rec center for a second day of gyming!

Our ride was a little bit shorter than it was yesterday, but the wind made it absolutely torturous. I think it was the most unpleasant ride we've had so far. It seemed that no matter which way we turned, the wind was working against us. The terrain was mostly flat and the ride should have been a breeze, but nature made things difficult and uncomfortable.

Once we arrived at the gym, I hit the elliptical and did a mile, then did a bunch of different weight machines, including abs. To top off my routine, I did a mile on the treadmill - the first time I've run in quite a long time! Let me tell you, I did not miss it. Running blows no matter how you look at it.

After we'd finished our workout, we prepared to head back to Virginia Trace, only to look out the window and realize that it was pouring. The burst lasted only a few minutes, so we suited up and decided to risk our chances by biking back rather than wimping out and loading the bikes into the car. At first, we had smooth sailing, but once we reached Liberty Park, the rain began to whip at us viciously.

The rest of the ride was hilariously disgusting. I couldn't help but laugh at the circumstances. I was simultaneously unhappy and delighted by the weather. The only REAL issue for me was that my glasses got completely drenched and I couldn't really see anything. The wind was going at us, the rain was pelting us, and our feet kept sliding off our pedals. By the time we reached our house, we were completely soaked and mildly cold - as you can see in the pic above (though Senor had been hunched over his bike, so his front is surprisingly dry compared to the rest of him!) And what you can't see is how wet our hair and faces are haha. We were a mess - but it was worth it!

Lunch
- bowl of lentil soup
- celery with dill dressing
- Sun Chips
- 1 hot dog (without bun)
- 1 90 calorie twix ice cream
- 1 can of Diet Pepsi

Snack
- 1 90 calorie twix ice cream (again. oops).

Dinner
- 1/2 steak flank with mushroom sauce
- garlic bread
- asparagus

Snack
- 1/2 of a Lender's bagel with cream cheese