that they're self imposed. If you're a closet carb-eater, who is going to know it once the doors are shut? The only person you have to answer to is yourself. The only thing you feel is guilt and regret. There are no immediate consequences for your slips.
Still, I suppose feeling guilty is enough to prove that you have had a change in thinking...which has to mean something, right?
So yes, dear blog readers, what this means is that I did indeed eat a 200 calorie bag of parmesan garlic & herb pita chips at around 7:30 this evening. It was an impulsive move on my part. This is what I get for not ridding my room of all dietary-no-nos (I just couldn't stand the thought of throwing away all of that food!).
Also, it has come to my attention that I'm not really going to be able to do a good job with the diet this week. We will be eating mostly bagged meals and options will be extremely limited. In other words, if I want to eat at all, I don't really have much of a choice. And tomorrow happens to be a donut breakfast. That's the only option. Donuts. I don't even like donuts that much. But just thinking about being able to cheat and eat one is giving me a slight thrill. Is that normal?
I've been talking to a lot of people about dieting, etc. I signed up for alli.com - which is a website which provides pills for people who want to lose weight. I'm not going to buy the pills, but I am going to use their tips and dietary guidance to help me on my journey. According to their website, my BMI is in a healthy range, so hooray on that! I'm not considered obese by a bullshit bunch of standards!
I've also been weighing the pros and cons of limiting myself from eating something. It might have averse effects. For instance, I felt so devilishly guilty eating those pita chips that I enjoyed them more than I would have on a normal occassion. And the same goes for the donuts. Normally, I would just be like Eh, donuts...whatever. But because I told myself that I can't have them, I'm all DONUTS?!!!!!!?!?!?!!! WOOT!
I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Is it good that I feel guilty because it means that I am being more conscious of my consumption or is it bad because I am getting more excited about my indulgences? What potential habits could this create for me? Could it lead to binge eating or more closet behavior?
Lots of questions.
Anyway, up until my pita chip slip, I was doing pretty well for myself:
Breakfast: 100 calorie fat free yogurt, 1/3 cup tropical fruit trail mix
Lunch: 1 low fat string cheese, 4 slices of low fat deli turkey, 1 cup of dried cranberries & almonds, 5 chocolate meringues (which are basically egg whites and cocoa powder in a light and fluffy form - super low calorie, low-carb and low-fat)
Dinner: small bag of parmesan garlic & herb pita chips (which only had 28g of carbs...9% of the RDV), green tea with mint [healthiest. dinner. ever.]
What's missing from my diet? Fruits and vegetables and substantial protein. I am loving the deli meat, but my sides are lacking. I'm definitely looking forward to the start of the regular school year so I can help balance myself out a little bit. It's clear to me that I won't be meeting my body's nutritional needs if I keep eating out of a dorm fridge and a microwave. Translation: I need a kitchen!!!!!
And for those of you who were wondering: I didn't go to the gym today. My pass isn't activated yet and I can't get into it. However, I may or may have not have done some high-quality dance-aerobics to David Guetta in my room *cough*. This is one time when it's perfectly okay to indulge behind a closed door.
Tomorrow = donuts for breakfast. no gym. lots of sitting through boring things. and no idea as to what the rest of the day's menu holds. I am going to try to be healthy about this, but I make no promises.
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Megan, make sure you're eating enough calories too. Cutting back too much can actually be counterproductive because our bodies are smart and notice drastic decreases in calorie intake, and as a result your metabolism slows down to get the longest use out of the calories. Have you considered Weight Watchers? I did it with my dad after my freshman year to take off those 15 and I lost it in 2 months and he lost 70 pounds in 6 months or so. You'd be surprised how much you actually are supposed to eat (healthy food, at least)
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