Clean slate tomorrow, never today...

So I'd taken a brief hiatus from the world of blogging to spare you from the "I'm a terrible cheating cheater!" entries which dominate my entire page at the moment.

However, I will say that amidst all that cheating, I went to the gym one time! Hooray! I ran a mile on the treadmill and did a mile on the elliptical. I would like to say that that set a trend for me, but honestly...college living has to be the worst atmosphere to create a steady life full of delicious routine and good eats. Seriously.

I went away this weekend and partook in much carb-eating. By the end of the weekend I felt pretty gross. My magical jeans which normally fit me no matter my size felt a little snug on Monday and I was none too happy about it.

I had originally decided to screw the diet, because it is terribly hard for me to maintain any big lifestyle changes when my lifestyle is the reason for all of this in the first place. Inconsistent hours, lots of time commitments, and lack of a kitchen really make for bad decisions. However, after stepping on the scale on Sunday and noting that I was back at 155, I realized that enough is enough and I wanted to put those restrictions back on myself.

During the weeks when I was doing well with the diet, I felt SO good. Even though I'd snuck in a few cheats, I just felt slimmer and more confident and more energetic. So I've decided that back to the diet it is. And if I have to cheat a few times along the way, whatever. I think the root of that issue is thinking about it as cheating. If I think of this diet as an obligation, I will fail. If I think of it as something that I genuinely want to do for myself and have the results in sight, I will do much better for myself.

I am also feeling pressured to be more athletic. I know that I am going to have an active summer with people who are far more naturally active than I am, so I certainly have to take the initiative to train and get myself in good enough shape that I can keep up with them.

Motivation, motivation.

Today

Breakfast: low fat string cheese, mint green tea, red apple, tropical trail mix
Lunch: kale soup, turkey breast
Dinner: portabello mushroom salad

Days 15&16: low

I don't know if I'm just feeling the effects of the despondent weather or if I'm suffering from SAD or if I'm just bored, but these last few days I have felt super low-energy and lethargic. I know it's not from lack of carbs, because I cheated three times yesterday. I dunno. I've just felt blah.

Anyway, I wanted to start this week off with a clean slate, but I obviously haven't done a very good job of it. I didn't cheat on Monday, but Tuesday wasn't so good.

Food for thought

Breakfast: 100 calorie yogurt, low-fat string cheese

Lunch: chicken nuggets [first fail], spicy black beans, red delicious apple, chocolate milk

Snack: banana chips with crunchy peanut butter

Dinner [or lack thereof]: two cups of goldfish [second fail], pomegranate seltzer

After dinner: rainbow cupcake [third fail]

Today has been alright so far, but then again I'm only 3 hours into my day. I am scheduled to go to the Maple Ridge Gym @ 6 tonight with a new gym buddy. I feel like I just need to try something to get my spirits up [or at least make me feel better about myself], and hopefully exercise will do the trick.